epic FAIL

Story of my life. I didn't manage to do the 'Cooper Gratitude' list thing. I never manage to do anything I set my mind to. I am so fed up of failing everything I set out to do. I just don't know how to change it... Like I try and accept things the way they are but something in my head just doesn't let me. I always find the negative bit of absolutely everything. I want to be a positive person but I do not know how. I want to be who I was when I was 12. I didn't worry about anything, I took things as they came. I lived for the present day, not in the past. If things didn't work out the way I wanted, whatever, shit happened but now I cannot get over things. Or maybe someone. Or probably both. Now I'm this pathetic excuse for a human being who is fed up of everything. Fed up of not having a job. Fed up of not having a well paid job. Fed up of losing friends. Fed up of being alone for what feels like will be forever. Fed up of getting fat again. Fed up of my parents hating me and being disappointed in me. I don't think fed up is the right word. If your fed up of something you do something about it. But I can't. I am horrible on a daily basis to my parents. I don't know why. I don't want to be but it just happens. What is that about?
I really want 2012 to be my year. I want to change into a positive person in 2012. I want to get back to my lowest weight and beyond in 2012. I want someone to want me in 2012. I need someone to want me in 2012. So here is to 2012 and its prospected awesomeness, come on 2012, show me just how awesome you can be. Please. :)